


Mayday

by teenager



Series: The One Where Mark Is A Troubled Sugar Baby [4]
Category: GOT7
Genre: M/M, Mark Tuan-centric, Personal Growth, Possible future Markjin, Realization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-14 23:05:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15399531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teenager/pseuds/teenager
Summary: Mark feels different. He doesn't know what changed, but something obviously has.





	Mayday

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as a simple markbum fic and diverged into a sort of journey for Mark?? I'm not mad at it tbh. Mark/Self Love now THAT'S a ship.
> 
> I don't know why I made Jaebeom such a tool btw, I'm sorry!!

Mark feels different.

 

Changed maybe, although he isn't sure why. He doesn't know what snapped inside of him, but something clearly has.  

 

Surprisingly everything worked out exactly as planned.

 

He doesn't feel happy about it, though.

 

He lays on the couch. The room is almost pitch black, light desperately trying to slip in through the blackout curtains. Outside he can hear the paparazzi start up again and he wonders if Jackson is about to waltz in.

 

About a minute later he does, freezing as if he's spotted a wild animal when he notices Mark laying down. “Mark I'm so sorry- I didn't. I don't know why I did it…”

 

They haven't seen each other properly in about a week or two and Jackson looks thin, frail even. The spark usually in his eyes gone.

 

Mark closes his eyes.

 

He doesn't especially care. He never really did. Couldn't even act surprised when people flocked to him last week after getting lunch, asking about Jackson's secret fling. He remembers how surreal it felt being asked if he was upset and if they were getting an annulment. Pictures of him and some Thai beauty laying in bed plastered on every social media front.

 

How could he be surprised when Jaebeom had texted him the day before telling him that everything was finally done. That this 'job’ would finally be over. It feels gross to consider someone's downfall nothing else besides a job. A means to an end.

 

Mark sighs deeply, pulling at his messy locks.

 

Mark wonders if Jaebeom felt any remorse at all sending them into the press. He doesn't even want to know how his friend even convinced Jackson to go to bed. He doesn't really want to know the details. Maybe he's just weak but it makes him feel sick.

 

Jackson must take his silence for anger and grabs his face.

 

“I mean it, I don't even remember how we got to a room. I don't remember doing anything.”

 

At this point Mark wouldn't be surprised if he was telling the truth.  
  
He has no idea what is Jaebeom capable of anymore. He himself seems different, ever since after they came into so much money, after the JYP incident.

  
  
“It's okay. W- we've both done bad things, right?” Mark asks, grabbing Jackson's hand and giving it a quick squeeze. He tries to smile but pulls away before Jackson can interlace their fingers. He wants to be supportive but… he doesn't want to lead him on anymore.  
  
“I'm sorry this is happening so publicly.” Mark admits. “You don't deserve any of this.”  
  
“I cheated on you and you're being nice,” Jackson laughs to himself, though it lacks mirth. If only he knew the truth.

 

He scrubs his hands over his face, looking much older than he is and Mark feels terrible.  
  
His stomach twists uncomfortably again and he tries to make the situation better, as best as he can. “It'll all blow over in a week or two. That's how these things work. And then you can focus on your company again.”  
  
“What about us? I still love you.”  
  
And the knots inside him churn together tighter, making it hard to focus on anything other than the pain.  
  
“ _What about us?_ Do you think there's still an us?”

 

That's an answer in and of itself and Jackson moves away, looking pained.

 

Mark sighs, flipping over on the couch and repeating that it's all okay.

 

He just wants to be alone. He doesn't even want Jaebeom right now.

 

What is he doing with his life?

 

He knows what they did to Jyp's old ass was wrong, but he was cruel to most around him, it didn't feel _that_ bad. But Jackson? He's done absolutely nothing wrong to Mark, quite the opposite actually. Yet here he is ruining the man's life, his reputation and for what reason? To add to their already enormous bank account?

 

Jaebeom has repeatedly told him it's fine but Mark knows that it isn't.  

 

His phone rings loudly and he goes to silence it quickly.

 

He just needs to think for himself. For fucking once.

 

Mark is just tired.

 

“Baby… ”

 

“Jackson just- ” Mark doesn't know why he even feels this way. It wasn't as if he was in love with Jackson. He did think he was sweet and kind in his own way but all of this has become so tiring. Not just physically but mentally. “Let's drop it for now, okay?”

 

“I'll do anything,” Jackson says and Mark remembers Jaebeom saying that Jackson would do this, say exactly this. “Anything you want, I'll do to make this up.”

 

He doesn't know how Jaebeom could know. Maybe he's the devil in disguise.

 

And maybe Mark is a fool.

 

Jackson rises away from the couch and Mark licks his lips, mind suddenly spinning. Maybe he really has been an idiot this entire time.

 

“Jackson,” he starts and the other turns, looking nervous and slightly hopeful. “Could you really do anything?”

 

“Yes, Mark, I- ”

 

“Hush,” Mark cuts him off. “Just listen to me okay? If you really love me then just listen.”

 

It's about time Mark started speaking up for himself. Stopped being so complacent for other people.

 

The idea has his stomach twisting not only with nervousness but also excitement, strangely enough.

 

He's feeling too many emotions and his phone rings again. He pulls it out, watching Jaebeom’s unmarked number popup again before he turns the thing off all together. Perhaps Jackson was right all those months ago.

 

Maybe he was just letting himself be used in return for love or acceptance or some other bullshit. He doesn't know.

 

He doesn't know anything but he wants to start learning. Start understanding for himself.

 

“Do you think you could help me get a few things? I think I need to get away from all of this. Have some time to think, you know?”

 

Jackson looks over him closely before finally nodding, expression resigned.

 

“Of course.”

 

 

* * *

 

If he's being honest, it did feel strange leaving without a word, makes him feel almost empty. How else would he feel after cutting himself off from everyone and disappearing out of Korea.

 

But underneath all of that emptiness and fear, Mark felt free. More confident in himself and the steps he took.  

 

He doesn't know what to make of it.

 

“Your drink, sir.”

 

Mark is shaken from his thoughts when the bartender places a picturesque pina colada in front of him and he smiles in thanks, leaving a gracious tip.

 

The sun beats over his skin and his feet sink into the sand with every step he takes closer to the shore, ducking under the umbrella and into the chair he's spent the last few days in. The beach is practically empty sans a few other couples parading around, seeming all too in love.

 

Mark wonders what their stories are.

 

He feels a little empty again but not jealous or sad or anything he thinks he should be feeling.  

 

It's an interesting realization.

 

He plays with he idea of taking a dip into the water but he's afraid the clear water might turn purple from his new dye job.

 

He was sweating blue yesterday, much to his dismay but he's happy overall with how his hair turned out. It makes him feel like a new person.

 

He's thinking over whether he should have just gone back to his normal brown versus such a deep black when someone slips into the chair besides him.

 

Mark looks over, feeling slightly shocked but doesn't say anything.

 

He doesn't know the guy and he wonders what he could want.

 

“I'm sorry I just…  I was going to say hi at the bar but I felt a bit nervous.”

 

Mark smiles politely and looks the other man up and down. He's handsome, his english is choppy in places but still nice, his husky voice pleasing to hear.

 

“It's alright,” It's not as if Mark was doing much else, and having conversation with a good looking guy is always nice. “Where are you from?”

 

“I'm from Korea.” He says and for a moment Mark feels paranoid. What are the chances he meets someone from Korea in the middle of the Caribbean? Still, he tries not to let it show. It's probably just coincidence. “I've been studying overseas for medicine but it's summer and I thought a break would be good. What about you?”

 

He smiles proudly while he explains himself and Mark nods along, it all sounds plausible. Mark can easily picture the man in a white coat flouncing around a big time hospital.

 

“I'm from America,” That he gets him a questioning look and he tacks on. “My parents are from Taiwan though. If that's what you wondered. I guess I'm on vacation too.”

 

“I see,” He nods. “And are you here alone?”

 

“A bit forward of you to ask, don't you think?” He says and Mark doesn't miss the crinkling in the corner of his eyes. He doesn't seem off put by Mark's words.

 

He guesses he is alone now, technically.

 

He hasn't spoken to Jaebeom in a few months, although he still gets nasty messages now and again followed by the sweetest apologies he's ever read. Sometimes Mark is tempted to answer them. Sometimes thinks about going back to make sure that Jaebeom is doing okay but he feels like it's just a black hole waiting for him. Dying to suck him back in.

 

He does love Jaebeom and he probably always will, but love really isn't enough to keep two people together. He realized that slowly after a few days alone, traveling from city to city just to clear his mind.

 

And he does still occasionally text Jackson to say that he's okay and vice versa, but that's the extent of their relationship now. They never did get married so there wasn't much to settle there, although Mark did get a decent payout from his almost ex husband. He tried to say that it wasn't necessary but after so much prodding he just accepted it.

 

He heard that Jackson already fell in love again with some beautiful singer, the media completely having forgotten about Mark now and he smiles to himself thinking about it all. Mark guesses things worked out fairly well for them.

 

“Well, I heard fortune favors the brave,” Jinyoung tells him, looking over his face. “So I thought why not come talk to you.”

 

“I'm glad you came over,” Mark smiles, seeing the flush run up the man's tanned chest even through his tank top. “I am pretty alone, actually. It's nice to meet you…?”

 

“I'm Jinyoung.” He sticks out his hand, flipping his hair out of his face and Mark almost chokes on his drink. “Some of my friends call me Junior, if that's easier to remember.”

 

His name is really Jinyoung? No…

 

Mark wonders if this is all some sort of cosmic joke or if maybe it's just fate attempting to tell him something, desperately trying to nudge him in a different direction.

 

Either way, he simply huffs out a laugh, sticking his hand out to meet Jinyoung’s.

 

“I think I prefer Junior,” Mark admits shyly, feeling a blush creep onto his cheeks.

 

“I'm Yien.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo. Yeah. Maybe Jaebeom gets some karma. Maybe Mark moves forward. Maybe Jackson does too. Maybe Jinyoung is just a random person and maybe he isn't. 
> 
> So many possibilities could happen but I think I'm done with this. Feel free to add on more or take the story somewhere else if you want! Sorry if I disappointed anyone here for just ships, I really was just going to end with that first work but this all came spiraling out afterwards and I think some of my own emotions came out while writing this, it was a good way to help me out and maybe you enjoyed it too. Plus plus.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who supported me and liked the story (:


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